WHAM!

Ok calm down, I don't mean George and Andrew I refer instead to West Ham, and of course the installation of Gianfranco Zola as the new manager at the Boleyn Ground (ok who though West Ham played at Upton Park?).

Perfect timing for the total management novice to take over, just as XL ;the club's principal partner; lurches into administration stranding thousands of Holidaymakers abroad with no way of making it back home. Still with all those Trolly Dolly's looking for work it should mean that the service improves at the ground and surely some of them must be able to play football so they won't be short of players.

"A West Hammer fan sauntered past a corner shop and spots a video for sale entitled "West Ham - The Golden Years" Enthused, the supporter asks the shopkeeper "How much for the video mate ?""£200 mate" replies the shopkeeper."£200 for a video?" says the fan, "Yer having a laugh!""Oh no" the shopkeeper replies "The video's only a fiver, but the Betamax player will cost you £195"

Not content with knocking the poor old Hammers, I return my attention to Chelsea, now they are fair game whatever is happening.

So Steve Clarke has handed his resignation in at Chelsea, to join his old Blues team mate Zola as his assistant as West Ham, before Chelsea had the chance to reject his resignation, Big Phil had already wished his assistant well for the future, having helped him clear his desk (ok I made the desk bit up) so much for loyalty (that goes both ways) you can imagine the tears (possibly of laughter admittedly) roling down Big Phil's face as he sees his old pal off, "bye lad, good luck with wham"

"Two blokes were walking through a cemetery when they happened upon a tombstone that read:"Here lies John Sweeney, a good man and a Chelsea fan."So, one of them asked the other: "When the hell did they start putting two people in one grave?"

On that note it's nearly the weekend..

Full match report from Sunday's epic league opener away to Hartley Wintney should get posted by midday Monday